I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.