I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I am one with the molecules
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
