Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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