I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Randomize
