she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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