Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You have to summon your inner elephant
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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