the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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