so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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