Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize