cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
