i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
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Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
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