We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
