even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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