p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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