This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize