The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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