if i can run in heels then i can drive
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
