how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
