I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
