: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
