those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
