We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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