This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
