remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
