Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
