i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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