Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
