Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
