NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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