I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
