Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i need some magic done to my vagina
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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