you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
