Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
