Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?