Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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