so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?