he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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