He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest