It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
