She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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