Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
