im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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