No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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