you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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