Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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