p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize