Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
