I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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