We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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