Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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