I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
