community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
