I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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