and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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