he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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