Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
