i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
