so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
