just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
