You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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