I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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