My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
