While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
