Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dick very happy bro
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
