just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize